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Ohhh, now I'm pissed the fuck off. [08 Aug 2005|02:19pm] [ music | Butch Walker - Race Cars and Goth Rock ] bouncing like pennies and marbles spilling from children's pockets. I go down on the cement and skin up both knees but I was always always always always falling for you. A servent to your family I realize all too quickly. Set aside now that everything's gone all bloody. Children screaming and the murder of crows. post comment

Hello Chickens [08 Aug 2005|11:43am] This really isn't much of anything. Just rambling. Bits of lines scribbled onto paper and put here. - Will post comment

[12 May 2005|02:15pm] i hate you i love you coincidence that they both have four letters? love and hate. same coin, different lighting. i thought for once you might fight for me but instead you've gone away gone away and forgotten who i am but you are still right here next to me in my dreams in my dreams we fuck and then, over cigarettes, i realize that it was a mistake and i make an excuse so i can go. this duality of lust and repulsion is killing me is killing me it's sick, this hatred i have for you and i know it's sick and i know it's selfish and i know i'm being a twat it's sick it's sick please cease to exist so that i might begin to make myself real again again again post comment

i hate you [11 Feb 2004|01:02pm] i hate you. i hate the way you're gone. i hate the way you're still here. i hate the smell of you. i hate when i realize you're not coming back. i hate the feeling of alone. i hate how it was all my fault. the shore is unforgiving in it's crisp lines - dividing the world into two parts - wet and dry. why can't love be so defining. is it supposed to be? i guess maybe it is, but i don't know. there is no shelf here, no door or shelter i can hid behind or under. there is simply me, splayed out on the discecting table like in biology. pinned but still flapping. you always saved me at times like these - when i thought i would lose it. but now you're the reason i'm here and there is no hope of salvation. i dont really hate you, i never could. i hate myself for everything. but not to worry, in a healthy kind of a way. i wish i could see your face when i speak to you on the phone. you always knew how to lie to me to the point i'd believe it but here's a secret: i always knew when you lied. it's in your eyes. your left eye crinkles just a bit at the corner. did you know i knew? do you care? post comment

[25 Jan 2004|05:08am] i dont know what to do without you i'm lost i will sit here until you come back to me. sometimes i think you never even loved me i didn't fit in with your fancy plans didn't fit into the cracks that were left in 'our life' did i? i am so sick that i think i might throw up. i know, a part of me does, that this was meant to happen. but the other part says no, that i suck because she left. post comment

last time [09 Sep 2003|10:07am] the last time I looked at you I saw you as you used to be but now everytime I think of you it's you lying there, alone. I want this to end, I want this to end, I want this to end. Missing you hurts like nothing else could but I would rather go on missing you than see you in my dreams again. post comment

[28 Aug 2003|03:15pm] in that one moment it really felt like maybe i was losing it i thought that you were where it was at. but then i felt insane like i was maybe at the bottom of a fish bowl and the whole world was instead bigger than where i was right then without you i can't live without you so please dont make me post comment

Pink, it's not even a question [27 Aug 2003|08:45am] Heard Aerosmith's "Pink" on the radio this morning on the way to the store. Haven't heard that song in a really long time. It just made me smile. lift, lift, lift, okay kids here we go again don't push don't shout up up up up upupupupup higher and higher jump? post comment

sorry [26 Aug 2003|02:12pm] I get a little bit fucked up sometimes. And I say things to you that I don't mean. Because I don't know how to love you. I'm sorry. post comment

[26 Aug 2003|11:05am] [ music | tegan & sara ] I don't know what I"m doing anymore. I feel stuck. dust lays thick upon shelves that held the hearts of children glass all broken too many times post comment

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